it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
