what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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