Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
