This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
