I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
