i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
