just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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