Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
this boner is exhausting
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
