Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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