YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
