Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
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there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
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shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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