boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
