are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
