before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
