Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
