after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
