k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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