im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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