i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize