3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
