she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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