I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
