My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
