I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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