I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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