Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
