i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
