Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
