Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
