So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It was like giving head to a cactus.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
