this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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