I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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