I hate your face
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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