We won't sleep together?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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