on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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