Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
