The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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