Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape http://tfl.nu/qfom
  Replies (12) Good night (4336) Bad night (1441)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake. http://tfl.nu/kf3k
  Replies (22) Good night (5517) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon. http://tfl.nu/qalv
  Replies (14) Good night (865) Bad night (4330)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer http://tfl.nu/ep3s
  Replies (11) Good night (4298) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive http://tfl.nu/u57a
  Replies (13) Good night (4507) Bad night (1314)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA. http://tfl.nu/z3qk
  Replies (7) Good night (5498) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  they're like a gay fantastic four

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): they're like a gay fantastic four http://tfl.nu/6w8u
  Replies (15) Good night (2379) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius. http://tfl.nu/ents
  Replies (11) Good night (776) Bad night (2936)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College" http://tfl.nu/x9bo
  Replies (13) Good night (3913) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid. http://tfl.nu/bnv7
  Replies (20) Good night (1303) Bad night (4030)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to http://tfl.nu/b8f3
  Replies (7) Good night (964) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday http://tfl.nu/gou8
  Replies (1) Good night (1348) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE. http://tfl.nu/9lhc
  Replies (7) Good night (2824) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping. http://tfl.nu/qkke
  Replies (7) Good night (764) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it. http://tfl.nu/9xto
  Replies (3) Good night (384) Bad night (214)

Randomize