Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link http://tfl.nu/gvkq
  Replies (9) Good night (853) Bad night (1955)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks. http://tfl.nu/2sae
  Replies (17) Good night (12629) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like. http://tfl.nu/d99s
  Replies (17) Good night (1520) Bad night (5646)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers." http://tfl.nu/fu3x
  Replies (11) Good night (1039) Bad night (3086)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight. http://tfl.nu/fd4p
  Replies (4) Good night (1003) Bad night (2086)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories" http://tfl.nu/dbqw
  Replies (6) Good night (2740) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus." http://tfl.nu/ftkz
  Replies (4) Good night (2209) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players http://tfl.nu/pd68
  Replies (4) Good night (1906) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know. http://tfl.nu/4rlg
  Replies (2) Good night (2318) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out" http://tfl.nu/q7ym
  Replies (9) Good night (1217) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out... http://tfl.nu/zr6z
  Replies (3) Good night (889) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes! http://tfl.nu/5w2r
  Replies (5) Good night (1696) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =| http://tfl.nu/59tx
  Replies (5) Good night (252) Bad night (897)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it... http://tfl.nu/6yoy
  Replies (2) Good night (472) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success http://tfl.nu/eqcc
  Replies (2) Good night (461) Bad night (174)

Randomize