VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
