You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
wanna go halves on a baby?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I would fuck him just for his dog
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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