It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
