I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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