Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
