and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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