This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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