Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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