Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
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