so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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