I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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