Someone shit on the floor
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
