I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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