You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
