imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
