I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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