Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
