Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
