How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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