My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
A bitchslap is in order.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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