Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
