we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
