We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
