i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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